Nerd’s Words (sm)

The following story is true. The names have been changed because some of them are lawyers.

1:54 PM Thirteen year-old Alexis had just finished sending an e-mail to her soccer coach when her computer froze. She reached for the switch on the outlet bar just as she had done countless times before, only this time when the machine came back there was some sort of error message saying “Corrupted file: SYSTEM” and her computer was dead.

2:24 PM. I was working the day shift out of precinct 12 when the call came in; distraught parent, apparent computer homicide, homework missing. My name’s Goulet. I carry a bag.

“Just give me the facts, Ma’am.”

“The computer comes on. I can see the words on the thingie. But it stops and I get this horrible error thingie. Oh, help me Sgt. Friday!”

“That’s Gou-lay, not Fri-day, Ma’am. What happened next?”

“Well that’s when I called you.”

“Don’t touch the victim. I’ll be right over.”

3:04 PM, Hallstead homestead. The computer was one for the coroner. No start. No windows. No hope. I turned to the girl.

“Tell me what you did.”

“When it wouldn’t send my e-mail, I turned it off and back on again.”

“How did you turn it off?”

“I used the switch on the thingie where it plugs in.”

I’d had enough “thingies” for the day, plus I had enough bad news for the rest of the week. I turned to Lady Hallstead.

“Your computer is dead because you killed it when you turned it off.”

“What?! How is that possible?”

“When the power stops suddenly, sometimes it trashes files on your hard drive. I’ve seen it happen twice this month.”

“Oh, whatever can we do?!”

“If you have to turn it off and the usual methods aren’t working, push the “On” button and hold it in until the computer goes off.”

“And the switch on the power thingie?”

“Leave it alone. Don’t touch it! Put it away and stay away from it, unless you don’t mind paying a couple of C-notes to replace your hard drive and recover your files.”

“Oh Sargent Friday, how ever can we thank you?”

“Just pay the invoice ma’am. Pay the invoice.”